Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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