he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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