Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
