I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
