'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
