I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
