Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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