how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
