im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
