I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
