windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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