gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
