There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
