They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
