dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
