how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
