**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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