i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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