these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
