It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
