Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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