I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize