he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
