super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
