good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
