Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
