she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
