Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
