so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
