half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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