I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize