i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
