the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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