i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
