All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
