They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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