I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
