Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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