i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
