he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
