I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
