Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
