Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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