I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
