I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize