So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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