You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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