i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize