I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
