just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Less talking, more tequila
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
