I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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