yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
