Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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