Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize