i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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