What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
