Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
