Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
