I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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