I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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