where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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