tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
