I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
