I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
