Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
