Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
