I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
tonight lets celebrate not being married
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
