Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
