Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
