my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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