dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
