dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Even my vagina gasped.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
