cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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