We're facebook friends in real life
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
high people should be assigned attendants
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
