there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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