Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
